Just missed the bullet.

Yesterday (Saturday, 28th April 2007), I left home at 5:00pm on my way to a 5:30 appointment at my barber shop, for the monthly hair cut.

So I got into my car and started to drive, I passed one traffic light and then another, then I noticed that the traffic flow in front of me was slowing down dramatically.

‘What Gives?’, I thought, ‘It’s definitely an accident’, something that’s frequent on our roads.

I patiently sat in my car, one hand hanging out the window and the other on the steering wheel, lazily looking around (as I always do) trying to kill time, which I had a lot off since it was only 5:05pm and my appointment was at 5:30pm.

The traffic slowly began to ooze forward, sometimes a couple of feet, other times a good length. I finally reached to the point where I could actually see what was causing the commotion.

‘Damn!’, the traffic police have setup a check point; It must be the end of the month and the government needs money to pay their salaries, as is the norm.

I felt confident of not being stopped as I was abiding the law by (a) wearing my seatbelt, (b) not speaking on the phone, etc.

Unfortunately, as soon as I saw the first copper, he signalled me to the side.

‘What gives’, ‘This is not good’. I am in deep doo doo; reason being that my licence had just expired 2 days back and I still had not gotten off of my fat @ss to go and renew it.

I was desperate, so the only thing I could do was;

I parked on the side on the road indicated by the officer, put on the hand breaks, turned the car off, and got out.

I walked to the officer, with my hands raised in disbelief, “Wash sayer, ana maa sawate shay ghallat” (what gives, I have done nothing wrong).

He raised his eye brows and looked at me angrily, “ana askari, wa min hagee awagaaf ay wahed” (He meant he was a government official and has the right to stop any one he want to). I had no arguments there, but, I needed to get out of the situation fast, it should not get worse or I’m screwed.

Immediately, I said “Amee, mub kasdee shay, ana bas gaed asallak leanaa maa sawate shay ghalat” (Sir/uncle, I don’t mean anything except that I don’t believe I have done anything wrong)

“Laa”, he said, “Traeegtok galat, ana askari…..bla bla bla bla” (he said that my behaviour was wrong and I should not argue with him since he represents the government ……repeating some of his previous comments)

Anyways, he told me that he stopped me because the digits on my car’s number plates were not visible; which was caused by the long 5 hour drives that I had driving to and returning from Qatar in 2004/2005 (I’ll blog about it sometime in the ‘Down memory lane’ section). Again I had not moved my fat @ss to get them fixed, up to now I was using a marker to colour them blue.

Had he booked me I would have been given 2 citations, unbeknown to him, I was trying to weasel my way out of the situation without showing him my licence.

And I succeeded, he turned out to be a nice guy, thought he did not look it. I got off with a warning and was told to go to the Traffic directorate, to get new number plates.

“Inshallh, bacher barooh almoroor hag tasgeel sayartee wa batlob lee rakum gadeed” (what I meant was; ‘Yes sir. Thank you very much, I will be going to the traffic directorate tomorrow to register my car and will request a new number plate’).

My tactics worked, I missed the bullet this time, now it’s only a matter of getting off my @ss and doing the needful.

Oh yah, I should be registering my car this month, there are still 2 days to go.

I hope to renew my licence at the Post office at Bahrain mall today, then my insurance policy in the evening and, ‘ooh sugar’, I forgot, my right side mirror has been broken for the last three months, I don’t think my car will pass the traffic directorate’s examination without it.

I have yet to get it fixed. Aaah mann!